connection builds intelligence

I highly recommend this resource from Hand in Hand Parenting about emotional outbursts, tantrums, and the important role parents play in the development of their child's brain. It's a fairly quick read with the potential to totally transform your understanding of why kids misbehave, as well as what to do about it.
 
http://library.constantcontact.com/download/get/file/1101616454891-368/BEU+Class+2.pdf

For more information about Karen's parenting or interpersonal communication consultations by phone, visit www.karenalonge.com

it's impossible to talk to your baby too much

From the minute my babies were born, they heard me constantly narrating every single thing that was happening -- sometimes people even make fun of me for it when they watch our family videos. (I talked even more back then than I do now, if you can imagine such a thing!) 

But ha! research has now vindicated me and I can finally claim the last word. An article in the NY Times highlights research that suggests the more we talk to our babies (before age 3), the better:

 Children whose families were on welfare heard about 600 words per hour. Working-class children heard 1,200 words per hour, and children from professional families heard 2,100 words. By age 3, a poor child would have heard 30 million fewer words in his home environment than a child from a professional family. And the disparity mattered: the greater the number of words children heard from their parents or caregivers before they were 3, the higher their IQ and the better they did in school. TV talk not only didn’t help, it was detrimental.

This is pretty ground-breaking stuff. Talking more to children is something anyone can do with ultra-beneficial results. Even if all you do is narrate your own actions it's still helpful:  Ok, it's time for me to fold those towels!  Ooh, they are still warm from the dryer! I love how they smell so fresh and clean. This yellow one is so bright and cheerful. You don't need to say anything of great consequence -- just say more!

Read the entire article at:  http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/04/10/the-power-of-talking-to-your-baby/


For more information about Karen's parenting or interpersonal communication consultations by phone, visit www.karenalonge.com

delivering limits with a spoonful of sugar

Today's communication tip arrives
cloaked in song from Mary Poppins:
a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine
go down.

Pharmaceutical companies have you
covered on the actual medicine ... they
can make even the nastiest stuff taste like
bubble gum these days!

So I'll talk about another kind of medicine:
limits and boundaries. Parents need to
help kids learn what's okay to do and
what isn't. Children are not pre-wired with
the knowledge of what is acceptable
behavior in the culture they were born
into. Instead they are wired to watch and
learn from their parents. This information
is much easier for kids to absorb and
incorporate when it is delivered with
sweetness.

What do I mean by sweetness?

patty wipfler on setting limits that build cooperation

This is a very powerful five minute video. Patty Wipfler from Hand in Hand Parenting shares insights into why children respond the way they do to the limits that parents set.

http://www.handinhandparenting.org/schedule/self-guided-online-classes/Special-Setting-Limits-Video


For more information about Karen's parenting consultations, click here or visit www.karenalonge.com

grieving preschooler cries about everything except her loss

My daughter is four years old and is currently undergoing many big changes in her life. A few months ago, she lost her granddad whom she was extremely close with. She speaks about him every day and misses him terribly. She doesn’t cry, but speaks about him and recollects little details of their time spent together.

A month later, we moved and she started attending preschool and daycare. Every morning when she wakes up she cries about going to school and her entire morning routine. When she gets to school, she cries. When she gets picked up by her daycare provider, she cries again. 

All this crying doesn’t last very long after I have left. She doesn’t want to change classes and says she loves her teacher. She doesn’t want to change her aftercare teacher for the same reason. But yet she cries non-stop just rambling on with different reasons.

I don’t know what to do anymore, because I don’t know if it’s all the changes or if she is just crying to get her way. What can I do to help her?

- Concerned Mom 

how do I tell my friend that I think her child might need to see a therapist?

I babysit for a girl that shows no remorse or empathy for anything she does. Minutes after she gets in trouble, she acts like nothing happened and goes back to playing. How do I tell her mom that she may need to seek counseling without her taking offense to it?

in the aftermath of Sandy Hook

 When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping."

To this day, especially in times of 'disaster,' I remember my mother's words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.

 - Fred (Mr.) Rogers

Many parents are deeply concerned about how to communicate with their children about what happened. Here's my two cents:

liz ryan's list of ten things we should teach our kids

love this!


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/liz-ryan/advice-for-kids_b_1443030.html?ref=parents

For more information about Karen's parenting consultations, click here or visit www.karenalonge.com

parenting in brief

before you tell your child not to be upset or cry,

understand your own discomfort with strong emotions

and tears

before you command your child not to touch,

determine how you will help him satisfy his innate curiosity

and honor his intense drive to explore his environment

before you try to teach your child to share,

expand and deepen your own generosity of spirit

another parenting website I highly recommend

tons of articles about parenting issues from pregnancy through the teen years, very well organized.  covers lots of bases!

http://www.ahaparenting.com/



For more information about Karen's parenting consultations, click here or visit www.karenalonge.com